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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in thickeye's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, May 15th, 2004
1:19 am
so yea, I don't update here anymore, it's all very impersonal over at thickeye.com/blog but you can see my silly video art and read about my pretentious projects like; queering of tony soprano: masculinity, fraternity and death in david chase's the sopranos.

I still read all your shit though.

Saturday, January 17th, 2004
5:51 am
full of self doubt. always.

I need to shake that shit. Oh well.

Current Mood: crappy

Thursday, January 15th, 2004
4:41 am
Abstract Dynamics
Hey, the link on that last post is

once again that abe's amazing writing at


Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
3:52 am
but yea
Even though I am still all about http://www.thickeye.com/blog for all my intellectual/bullshit rants, i think I am going to keep this as a personal journal for me to remember what happens in my life. This stems from the fact that I can not remember what happened last week- never mind last year, and I need a way to keep track, even if only for tax purposes. Also, don't expect spell check/editing here.

So yea, go to the link above for my mind, my body will be here.

I slept to late (again) today, and shat around the house doing internet etc for a few hours, masturbation, emails etc.

Then I went out for coffee with Nao and when she left worked on my book which is thick, but could be a bit more gruling for my taste. its on networks and their mathamatical basis but it spends way too much time on the sociological and not nearly enough on the hard data (yea, i know it's weird to think of me wanting it in numbers but I am rediscovering my dorkiness, it's sexy).

Then i went to essex market for veggies, etc, got good deals and tried this new fancy gourmet cheese shop down on Heser st. It was good and the lady gave me a deal and a good recipie to use with my cheese and some purple new potatos that I got.

Then it was time for home, where I watched the west wing (my new obsession) and made a salad nicouise (sp?) and baby purple potatos with my new cheese, butter, fresh rosmary and thyme.

Then some more internet, where-in I talked to sarah (the ex) on aim for a bit, which was lame, but I got all nervous, etc. about.

then onto D-List at 151 which was also boring, then I went in search of happy ending, found it to be lame and arrainged to meet up with my friend Joe who is a cheif at Le Cirque and his little sister. We got el drunko. The end.

Lame, I know, if you want the real me peep Thickeye</b>
Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
1:34 am
new place
so since this is dying, i will soon be up at http://www.thickeye.com/blog

it will be less personal but more often updated. Feel free to check in, i will still be keeping my eye on all of you. Thanks for the good times.

Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
12:52 am
What's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he rich like me?
So I guess my whole "I'm gonna update more" what yet another in a long series of broken promises from me to you.


Too much school work, not quite enough art work, too much booze, too much (yet not enough) sex. These my friends are the days of my life.

I skipped work today to finish work on a paper that ended up being several pages too long. It is trying to link (or extrapolate really) Fiske's idea of an expanded audience which is intertwined with the creation of the text to the creation of celebrity meta-narritives.

Basically the whole paper was overly-long bullshit sentences like the one above, but still i was vaguely happy with it and the presentation that I gave in class.

The presentation was weird, I have no idea what I really said and it is all a blur. There were no questions after I finished which worries me. It either means I was so totally though that no one had anything to ask or I was so muddled in my logic and organization that everyone was so embarrassed they just wanted it to end for my sake and theirs.
Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
9:21 pm
Not A Real Post
Hey, I should make a real post, but I am doing this instead...

I'm trying to get all my Livejournal friends' locations plotted on a map - please add your location starting with this form.
(Then get your friends to!)
Monday, October 27th, 2003
2:27 am
Art Stars and other hubrus

My boss threw a big cocktail party for like 85 people followed by a dinner party for 12. Well actually i organized it but the guests were all his. The guest of honor was href="http://www.jimrosenquist-artist.com/" title="James Rosenquist"> who had a show opening at the href="http://guggenheim.org/new_york_index.html" title="Guggenheim"> this month. James was there and was really cool and polite and not a snob, but he clearly wished he was not at some lame party given my a snooty rich art collector. I have a feeling that the only reason he was there was 'cause our collection just purchased a million dollars worth of his later (read: not so good) work.

But anyway, amongst all the art snobs were some other really cool older artists and a few hipsters. I had fun drinking wine and socializing, i must say my bosses pad (where i work) looked amazing. He can be an anal prick but he has pretty decent taste in art. Well at least in art that looks good in a three story tall double wide townhouse in the west village with wine being served and Philip Glass on the "hi-fi".

So anyway, it was all downhill (entertainment wise) in transition from the cocktail hour to the smaller, more exclusive dinner party. The only interesting guest left was this super old crumdgingly artist John Chamberlain ( href="http://artnet.com/ag/fineartthumbnails.asp?G=9&aid=3844" title="Link Here"> ).

As he and the other "VIP" guests were being literally herded upstairs he grab s me by the arm and whispers in my ear; "hey, wheres y the TV in this joint, lets go find it and turn on the ball game" well i was no one to argue, so i did my good duty, found the TV in the corner, plugged it in, found the cable chord and got the ball game (which was in the middle of a rain delay) up and running. Not wanting the interaction to end (he had been making funny asides all evening) i asked if he was a Yankees fan, he grumps "not really but" he motions behind me at the "VIP's" (mostly boring rich art collectors) and then back at the TV "at least this is LIVE!". I am not sure if the story works in context, but it made me really happy, he is a successful, well respected artist (who's work i actually like) AND he just did not buy into any of the Art-World bullshit that was being constructed willy-nilly in every direction. It gave me a lot of hope for my own career in that i won't need to fully suck the art world dick, just enough to get them interested, but not enough to make them satiated. I think that is the level i am comfortable with anyway.

Anyway, that was that.

More on the rest of my fun week later

Current Mood: calm
Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
2:58 am
watching the detective
in class we were talking today about how hegemony is a process more than anything else, the base and superstructure are in a constant back and forth dialectic. The base is always trying to incorporate oppositional and alternative elements into the superstructure.

One good example that I thought of sitting here is how queer culture has been comodified changing from something that was outside and in many ways oppositional to the base values into an extension there of.

This lead to me thinking of how the "Down Low" movement could be seen in many ways as a reaction to this....

Does any of that make sense to anyone but me, even though i picked the mood "awake" I am afraid that I am too sleepy to fully flesh out my ideas.

I think with this reawakening of the journal i will work out a lot of academic ideas here.

Ok, the rain has stopped so I am going to hunt down a glass of scotch to drive these thoughts from my head and allow me to sleep. Alone.

Current Mood: awake
Monday, October 13th, 2003
11:58 pm
Can anybody hear me, hear me...
I'm back...

look for updates in this space soon.

The short:
School Starting
New Apt.
New job with private art collector
New G4 12 inch powerbook (hence the being back).

Looking up? It seems that way.

Current Mood: Reflective
Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
12:29 pm
Well, i had a good birthday, nothing too exciting sort of a let down to be out here rather alone as opposed to in la with a bunch of kids. Still nice though.

Sarah and i decided to break up, its fairly mutual, i had tried to break up with her a few days previously, we talked it over and then she came back and had changed her mind. Part of me thinks its good, part of me things we are both being rash, all of me is sad- but dealing in an adult way.

Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
1:48 pm
No post for a full 30 days!!! & my new Cell #
[Unknown LJ tag]

Ok, there is no way this is going to be coherent so i am just going to shit it out through the keyboard onto the screen for memorys sake. Got into new york, stayed with sarah at her dorm room the first week. That was a bit collegey but she was also really really busy finishing up her finals. She ended up with all "a"s again which is a bit cloying but i am still proud of her.

I then got a part time, under the table job working as a stylist for Whilimena Modeling, which is a pretty swank job and it pays $150 per day, under the table which is handy as fuck (i am still collecting california unemployment).

So it's about this time that i begain helping sarah move into her new place on crosby in SoHo. Its really cute but also really tiny, and i lived there with her and her amusing but constantly stoned gay roomie for a month, which got to be as you can imagine rather a long streatch.

But then i moved into this cute little place in williamsburg with Matt E. who i dig to death.

Ok that does a shitty job summing up what i have been doing but....

I have also been-
Drinking at the hole way too often
Hanging out with sam and his family at swank art parties
drinking with LTB at welcome to the johnsons in les
watching sopranos dvd's with matt and talking about the lonelyness implicit in al green lyrics
smoking pot with several members of The Roots and Common at APT

and so, so much more. Just me exploring the city. Now that the stage is set i will attempt to get back into more regular entrys.

xoxo b
Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
1:40 pm
art show
I have a piece in a really cool fashion/art show tonight and i urge you all to go.
It's at a great space called Show Pony in echo park the address is:

1543 Echo Park Blvd
Echo Park, CA

Thats on Echo Park Blvd 4 blocks or so north of sunset on the west side of the street.

It is from 7-10 pm

There will be all sorts of hand made clothing and art, all obsessed with the letter "U". Mine is the "phone" piece, go and let
me know how it is since i can't be there.

there will be all sorts of fun people there!

1:26 pm
Me in New York
Hi kid's. I am in new york now, it is fun. Went out with sarah and ammanda and a bunch of her peoples to this place odessa where i guess debbi and mitra were, but i was still so totally shell shocked that i did not even see them (though Sarah did, and of course chose not to tell me... I dont think she likes me to socialize with other girls).

Anyway; things have been fun, got a job styling girls for this modeling company- sort of scam artists (the models pay to get their book done) but whatever- its $100 bucks a day under the table... so looks like I will start having cash in my pocket. Me in new york is like a dot com circa 1999. I have great VC capital (my savings) but i am bleeding cash left and right and until today there was no viable product in sight.

Anyway, i am going to help sarah move now- she got the cutest place on crosby street in soho. xoxo (ps i have an art show in LA tonight, i will post later on the details).
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003
2:13 pm
Ok Fuckers,
To those of you in LA, this is your last (first?) chance to get crunk and hang out with me.

This saturday 4/26
1001 E. First St.
LA, 90012

benjamin presents... Give me a kiss goodbye
an extravaganza of booze, hotties, hot music and drugs, all down under a beautiful bridge downtown.

Music and limited hotties provided, you bring the rest (well i might have some booze but ever since mr. rogers died i have not been too into this "sharing" concept).

Please come, it will make me happy to see all you hotties. I will try to stay a little sober so i can have a coherent goodbye conversation with you.

Those that don't show... will be forgotten.


email me for more info ben at newdream dot net
1:07 pm
Why you have not heard from me.
Hi all you all.

Sorry i have been so super super busy (lazy) and have not given a decent update. The art show went spectacularly well, good reception, good connections no sales. I also quit my job which is really nice as i now have the free time i deserve.

Worked all last week on getting ready for this fashion photo-shoot which i concieved and art directed. It was great, we had a wonderful model, great stylist, photographer and crew. Everything went really well; myself and the producer are meeting with the photographer on wed. to peep the transparencys. This is a really great way for me to start getting my book ready. Much props to AJ Crimson my roomie for hooking me up and pushing me to take these steps; it looks like i have found something that i am really good at.

So that took up much of saturday (17 hours straight) and since then i have just been working on packing, renting out my room ad with pictures:


This whole moving thing is really stressing me out, i am super stoked to be going to new york but taking ones live and transporting it accross the fucking continent is breaking my balls. I need an ambien or two to fall asleep each night. Ok, i love you all and i know i am leaving out SO much. Update on my going away party (this saturday) later today.

Saturday, April 12th, 2003
4:16 pm
Unemployment rocks. I am feeling it in such a hard way. I am also going to be in another art show, this one at this clothing store Show Pony. Unfortunatly i will not be here for the opening may 4th but i am sure it will be all sorts of fun in a box. More details on what i plan to do forthcomming.

i need someone to cuddle with

Wednesday, April 9th, 2003
12:28 pm
Rent My Loft From Me
Starting 5/1 or so


Def. pref. to LJ folks
Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
6:34 pm
Ben's Tentative schedule April 9-June 1.
Post on how the art show went (amazing) later.

April 9, end current $$ making gig. Perhaps sign on for MTV awards show for a couple weeks and/or work on styling silly R & B music video. Or just pack and sit around planning world dommination.

May 1 Fly to NYC for sarah+ben 2 year exstravagansa
May 1-3 NYC get aquainted, make first futile attempts to search for job and help sarah get moved into her apartment.
May 3 train to boston and then drive down to Cape Cod to hang with moms and dads. Sleep alot. Be annoyed at dial up connection and mooch off folks (at their invitation) for first time in several years.
May 21st or there abouts Head back down to New York, finish helping sarah decorate etc... Move shit into amanda's place (which i am subleting for the summer).
May 24th Up to vermont for rebecca's graduation (with sarah). Get drunk with little sister, hang out with her and her girlfriend. Enjoy nature for a few days
May 27th Back on down to new york to start my life there "for reals".

I should know about grad school soon. I got some call from a prof. at the new school program for a phone interview today, we was super nice, said it seemed like i had an "extremely strong application file". So hopefully that bodes well and he was not just attempting to make me feel better.

Things that could change about my plans--
1. I May take amtrak out to NYC in order to stop in chicago (aka shitcago) to visit j. purcell and some other "fly over country" peeps.
2. May spend more of may with sarah in nyc and less with my folks on the ocean, depends on how i am feeling really.

I love you all, LA kids... 22 days or so left to kick it with me before i am out (at least for now.) Good art show post soon. xoxo
Monday, March 31st, 2003
5:02 pm

Here are the details for my art show this friday.

A group show curated by Mike Russek
The Transport Gallery @ Factory Place
1308 Factory Place, Los Angeles California 90013
ph. 213 689 4099
Opening Reception (ie party) April 4th 6pm-11pm

I hope to see you all there.
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